“Disclosure Day” Review: Aliens and Pro Wrestling!
There is a very specific type of psychological whiszplash that only a professional wrestling fan can truly understand.
It happens when you step away from the weekly television cycle, decide to invest your time and money into a major Hollywood blockbuster, and get hit square in the jaw by the most aggressive bait-and-switch in cinematic history.
Take Steven Spielberg’s sci-fi thriller Disclosure Day.
You sit down, the lights go down, the studio logos fade, and what flashes across the screen? A professional wrestling ring.
Not just any setup, either—you’ve got AEW powerhouses Brian Cage and Lance Archer throwing down, with Chavo Guerrero Jr. calling it down the middle as referee.
SPOILER ALERT: We never finds out who wins that match! #PlotHole
For a brief, beautiful second, you mark out.
Your brain defaults to Pavlovian excitement. Oh, sweet! We're getting a wrestling movie!
And then, reality sets in.
Josh O’Connor’s character is sweating through a high-stakes, covert handoff in the audience while an impending global security crisis closes in.
The wrestling match isn't the main event; it's just colorful background noise for an alien conspiracy plot.
You realize with mounting despair that you aren't watching a gritty indie drama about the grueling realities of the pro wrestling business—you’re watching the opening setup for an apocalyptic government cover-up.
It is the ultimate monkey’s paw wish.
Booking the Apocalypse: A Review
By the time Disclosure Day shifted gears away from the canvas and into its actual sci-fi narrative, the damage was already done.
If we’re grading the opening segment of Spielberg’s latest epic through a proper analytical lens:
Crowd Heat: Off the charts.
Wrestling Talent: Impeccable (you can never go wrong with Cage, Archer, and Chavo).
Booking Quality: Terrible. Putting a global cataclysm on the same card as a heavyweight showcase is a direct violation of event pacing.
Overall Grade: C+
Ultimately, Disclosure Day gave wrestling fans a completely unexpected crossover cameo, even if the movie itself forgot what sport it was playing five minutes in.
Next time, Steven, just give us the 60-minute Broadway classic between Archer and Cage and save the aliens for the post-credits scene.
