WWE Chooses Lamest “Stage of Hell” Ever
The WWE 3 STAGES OF HELL stipulations for the upcoming Cody Rhodes vs. Drew McIntyre match have finally been chosen.
Standard Wrestling Match
Falls Count Anywhere
Steel Cage
Wow. Truly groundbreaking stuff.
After months of build-up, the WWE creative team looked at all the possibilities… and decided the first match should be the most vanilla, grocery-store-brand, “we-ran-out-of-ideas” option available:
A completely normal singles match.
No weapons. No explosions. No ambulances. No buried alive. Just two dudes in trunks doing chain wrestling like it’s 1998 and the network execs are watching.
Groundbreaking. Innovative. Edge-of-your-seat television.
We’re shaking. We’re quaking. We’re… checking our fantasy football scores during this one.
Why settle for fireworks when you can have… regulations?
The Stipulations That Blew Nobody’s Mind:
Stage 1: “Please don’t be boring” Classic Match
Stage 2: “Okay now you can roll around outside a little” Falls Count Anywhere
Stage 3: “Fine, we’ll put them in a box so they stop wandering off” Steel Cage
Truly the match of the century.
Or at least the match that reminds you why TiVo was invented.
Ready to witness history?
Tune in next week to see if Cody remembers how to do a wristlock without tweeting about it first.
